Our Church

One thing that Ryan and I were really looking forward to about moving, was being able to find a church together. We had discussed visiting different churches around our area in Cincinnati for years before moving, but never did.

Now we had no option, and we were so excited. It's not that we don't like our church back home. It just wasn't our church.

I am Catholic and went to Catholic mass and Sunday school and then youth group my entire life. I rarely remember missing a Sunday. And Ryan grew up in the Church of God churches.

When Ryan and I were dating, it was never an issue that we were of two different denominations.

Ryan once said to me, "Beth. Do you believe in God?"

Yes.

"Do you love Jesus?"

Yes.

"Then what's the problem?"

How right he was. Ryan instantly calmed my fears about this "issue" that wasn't even really an issue. We were both Christians who love Jesus. Why should anything else matter?

When we got married, we began alternating Sundays. One week we would go to St. Susanna, my church of 20+ years. The next week we would go to his church in Hamilton. We did this for many months.

It was eventually  me who said that I would give up "my Sunday" and that we could go to Hamilton instead.

It's very difficult going to a church that you grew up in with your family - mom, dad, and brother - and then all of a sudden being the only one there anymore. Don't get me wrong. I love St. Susanna and have so many amazing memories there. But having have been through both of my parents' funerals at that church, and having so many changes within the church, it began to be difficult to go back week after week.

We eventually slowed our trips to St. Susanna and made Hamilton our primary church. It took quite some time for me to feel comfortable there. The first time we went, Ryan said, "why aren't you singing? You always sing at St. Susanna."

"Umm...there are no books. I also don't know any of these songs."

I was in a bit of religion shock to say the least. I am fairly conservative and traditional when it comes to church - imagine that. The Catholic girl being conservative and traditional.

It took me a while to feel comfortable. After a few weeks, I began to hum along with the songs, tap my fingers on the chair in front of me, and sway a little to the music.

I was very welcomed by everyone in the church - especially when I name dropped who I was...

"Oh hi, I'm Beth. Ryan Morrow's wife... *silence*...Karen Gibson's daughter in law."

"OH HI!!"

My mother and father in law are somewhat "royalty" I feel in their church. Karen is an absolutely phenomenal singer in the choir, and honestly, who doesn't love Tim? So whenever someone looked at me funny, I just had to name drop them and I was instantly in!

So Hamilton became the primary church for Ryan and I. And even though I was completely welcomed, I still felt, and still refer to it as "Ryan's church." He has been going there for nearly 15 years along with this family. So I felt like I was always going to his church. Not that that is bad by any means. It just wasn't ours.

When we knew for sure that we were moving down here to NC, we were really excited to finally find a church together. Not going to one of ours or the others, but choosing a church together that we both enjoy and feel comfortable in.

For the past two Sunday's we have been going to a church only 10 minutes from our house. This is HUGE in comparison to what we were driving to get to Hamilton - 50 minutes one way. I was really nervous about finding a church that had their priorities set with childcare and classes being one of the highest.

Before we even walked in the first Sunday, a lady was standing outside greeting everyone and we explained that it was our first time there. She instantly introduced herself to us and took us everywhere that we needed to be. Showed us where the bathrooms were (important for this pregnant lady), introduced us to the Pastor, showed us the childcare and overall just made such a great impression on us from the get go.

I was incredibly nervous about leaving Dean with people that we had never met before. Ryan to the rescue again...

"We're going to a church. There's nothing to worry about. If we don't like what we see when we get there, we won't leave him,"

Well, we loved it the second that we saw it. The ladies were SO helpful helping us check Dean in and there were different areas for all age groups. Perfect. Dean literally didn't even care that we were leaving him. He didn't even look back - okay, we may have run once he turned his back, but still!

I cannot say enough good things about the childcare at this church. That was my #1 priority. And Dean had a great time, because when we went to pick him up, he had goldfish crumbs all over his mouth and cried when we left. Love you too buddy.

But besides the childcare, Ryan and I were really happy with how the service went. It was conservative enough for me, but the music was up beat enough for Ryan, and we both really enjoyed the Pastor.

So we went back last week. And when we walked in and dropped Dean off, we were greeted with a smile from the Pastor who remembered our names and where we were from. And then another member of the church introduced himself and addressed Ryan and I by our names - we had never met him before.

Now, this may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but to me, it's huge. A few weeks before we moved, we were at church in Hamilton, and someone came up to me and said, "Hi, is this your first time here? I'm *insert name*."

I smiled and laughed awkwardly while saying, "Are you serious?"

I had been going to church there for 4 years now....

So the fact that the Pastor of this church remembered our names and greeted us so warmly really made a big impact on Ryan and me.

We are excited to go back this Sunday, and I can guarantee you that Dean is as well. He also cried this past Sunday when we left.

I suppose the point that I wanted to make through my long story, is that it doesn't matter what denomination you are. Ryan and I grew up in two very different churches, but have never had stronger relationships with Christ than we have today. And we aren't going to either of our denominational churches. We love each other, we love Christ, and we show that love to Dean.

I have had remarks made toward me that I "don't go to church" because I don't go to Catholic mass on a weekly basis. It makes me sad, because I do go to church. I've gone to church my entire life. Just because it isn't the church that I grew up in, doesn't mean that I'm a bad Christian.

Over the past few years, my life has changed dramatically, and I have learned so much tolerance and love. Who cares if I'm not going to the church that I grew up in. I know that my parents would be so proud of me and how much closer to Christ I have become because of them.

And it is because of my parents that I have such a strong faith. If you ever had the chance to know my parents, they radiated the love of Christ and taught me how to love that same way.

I am so excited for this new journey that Ryan and I are on, and that we have (hopefully) finally found our church. All I want is for Dean to know the love of Christ and to be able to teach him that throughout his life, so that he can love the same way that my parents taught me how to love.

State of Emergency

As I watched Ryan slide down the driveway to his car this morning, I waved goodbye from the door.

Moments before I was lying on the couch covered with a blanket, courtesy of Ryan, waiting for him to leave for work and giving my usual wife winter snow speech.

"Now please be careful. And be nice if people call you saying that they can't make it in. We are in the south now!"

"It's pot luck day! We're goin' in!" was Ryan's sweet response.

That's right. It's Fat Tuesday and pot luck day in the office.

Yesterday I asked Ryan if anyone had commented on the weather and what if they can't make it in tomorrow.

"I told them to leave early! I don't want any calls at 7:45 saying they're stuck in traffic or that it's slippery."

Now Ryan, we are in the south now. They may not know how to drive in this as well as we do.

"The only time I've ever been told not to come in to work or to leave early was when there was a fire in the building. And even then they only let the people on that floor go home!"

Clearly Ryan is a dedicated person and really wants everyone around him to thrive as well.

And before you start freaking out saying and thinking, "If it's too bad out, he shouldn't make them come in to work!" Relax.

Perhaps I should define what's bad, and what the south thinks is bad.

Bad in normal terms is when there's multiple inches of snow. Bad in the south, is when there's barely a dusting on the road. No joke.

Ryan said that on his way home from work yesterday, at 5:15, he passed MAYBE 15 cars on his 25 minute drive home. It had been "snowing" for all of 30 minutes at this point in time.

Now we did get some ice over night, and ice is no joke. But there's literally two tire tracks on my street - and one of those is from Ryan's car this morning. Literally, no one is leaving their home.

I couldn't even watch Good Morning America this morning because there was non stop news coverage and they were showing the governor's press conference about the weather. Things that were being said...."treacherous road conditions," "don't be out on the roads!" " the worst is yet to come." "stay off of the roads, we don't want any fatalities, you'll be happier that you didn't go out."

Stop it. Just stop.

I couldn't handle it. I had to change the station immediately.

And we think Cincinnati is bad with weather coverage? It's no joke down here.

Needless to say Ryan made it to work safe and sound and in record time. I was quite surprised that he texted me 25 minutes after he left. But the texts that I got were phenomenal (sorry Ryan, I know this will probably embarrass you, but it's too great not to share - plus you did share that "hometown hero" picture of me on Facebook last week.)

The first text said,

"Child's play."

Good! Not bad?

He then said something about the main roads were plowed, no big deal. And then this gem...

"I was going 40 on Davis. People were staring at me like I was a super hero. People wanted my super powers."

That's right folks. I knew that Ryan was a super hero, but it has officially been confirmed by the super hero himself.

So long story short, the south thinks it's the apocalypse and we northerners are laughing hysterically. All you have to do is be smart while driving and it's no big deal, honestly.

I'm glad that Ryan made it safely to work, as I was up making guacamole last night that Ryan volunteered to bring to the pot luck, and I would be upset if I made all of that for nothing.

Here's to feeling like we're at home a bit more. And for those of you who are already sending me texts, harassing us about living in the south and being warm while you're freezing up there...it is only 16 here, so relax. Maybe you didn't know the entire state of North Carolina has been under a state of emergency for a day and a half. We're having serious snow issues ourselves down here!

Hahahaha, I'm sorry. I couldn't even finish typing that without laughing.

Happy snow ya'll.

Please Don't Stare

Since becoming a Mom I've learned a lot about being judgmental. You just don't. 

We live in a world and a time when being judgmental of others' decisions is at an all time high, in my eyes. We're constantly critiquing one another and comparing ourselves with others. It's really quiet sad if you think about it.

But what I've noticed is the judgement passed on parents is ridiculous. 

I'm sure many of you have seen the video that's been floating around on Facebook where there are "groups" of moms and dads at the park - the breastfeeding moms, the dads, the working moms, etc. When I watched that video it made me sick. It was horribly, horribly accurate. I came away from watching thinking, "Why is this necessary? I don't understand why we can't just all be supportive of one another."

Let's get one thing straight. We've all judged - that's a no brainer. 

And I'm not saying that I'm better than this person or that person, because I've had my fair share of judgmental thoughts. What I'm saying is that I wish we would stop. And now being a Mom, I've become so much more aware of that.

It's the little things that really seem to irritate me the most lately. 

Dean and I were at Target last week picking up the usual - hand soap, paper towels, a candle, etc. We were on our way to the checkout and Dean was holding the dog treats (his new favorite activity - feed Doc treats). He was shaking them and clearly very excited. If you haven't been around Dean much, his favorite word is "MOM!" and when he's excited, you know it. He squeals and/or grunts - you can't miss it. So as he's shaking the dog treats, he squealed quite loudly. People typically smile and go about their business. 

But there was this lady. 

She was heading in the opposite direction with her teenage daughter, and she literally stopped in her tracks and spun around so fast to see, "what the heck is that noise!?" 

I don't know why, but I was livid.

I stopped my cart, stared at her, rolled my eyes and kept going. 

Why was that necessary? Have you never been around a one year old before? Have you never heard the excitement of a child? Why did you find it necessary to stop everything you were doing to "find the source of that noise?" 

And then today.

We were eating lunch at McAlister's, our favorite Saturday lunch spot, and Dean was eating his applesauce. Well, he dropped his cup on the floor. 

It broke my heart. 

He instantly began crying, tears streaming down his little face. There was no saving it either. It was full upside down on the floor. It made me so sad for him.

And a young woman sitting two tables away from us, her back to us, spun around to see "what the heck is happening" and stared. 

Honestly?

Again, I was livid. 

Sure. I bet many of you don't think this is a big deal, and perhaps it's my pregnancy hormones or my momma bear coming out, but why is this necessary? Clearly a child was unhappy and was crying. Why was it necessary for you to stop eating your lunch, turn around, and stare at what was happening?

I've become quite vocal lately when people turn and stare, which embarrasses Ryan (a difficult thing to do). I said to him, "Did you see that girl just staring at us? Why was that necessary? Clearly we don't want our child crying while everyone is eating lunch, but is staring really necessary? That's so rude!" And I'm not shy to say this loud enough for said person to hear. 

I want people to know that in my eyes, it's unacceptable. 

Whether you meant it or not, your judgmental eyes are staring right at my family, and my one year old son, and I don't appreciate it. I don't stare at you while you're eating a lunch that I wouldn't have chosen for myself. So why stare at me? Because I have a child who dropped his applesauce on the floor and he's now upset, is not a reason. 

I suppose that my point throughout this entire "rant," is that I wish we would consider and be more conscious of our actions. 

If a kid is crying in a store or at a restaurant, it's 100% not necessary to turn and stare. I guarantee that the parents are feeling stressed about it to begin with, they don't need your judgmental eyes glaring at them. If a child is having a tantrum, don't look at the parent as if they should be "controlling their kid." It's hard! These little people have minds of their own, and there's only so much that we can do about it. 

As a parent, if I catch the eye of another parent, I give them a big smile to let them know they're not alone and I completely understand. 

I simply wish that we would be more considerate as a society of one another. Being a parent is freaking hard. I don't need outsiders staring and judging. Be supportive. Smile at a parent that's having a hard time. If a kid runs past you and the parent says "sorry," smile and say, "no big deal!" 

All in all let's just be supportive of one another. At the very least, be more conscious of your actions towards others. This world could use a lot of love, and the least that we can do is be nice to one another and offer love and encouragement. I want Dean and Baby Morrow to grow up in a world that knows love and tolerance for one another. And they will only learn that from those around them. 

"Be the change that you want to see in the world."

Perhaps we should start now. 

Routine

This post has started out like "Write and Rewrite." I thought I knew what I was going to write about, but have deleted it out of annoyance. 

I've had a lot on my mind since moving to North Carolina, and have started to slowly gather and sort all of my thoughts. 

The biggest thing on my mind has been routine. And how I am currently lacking one. 

I thrive on routine. It's a source of comfort to me. 

I enjoy knowing what's happening every week. I like to know what errands I need to run, where I need to be and when. It's calming. 

I've had a lot of change in my life the past six years, and having a routine is something that I have held on to, to stabilize me. 

You could also say that I grew up on a routine - that it runs in my blood. 

My Dad was the king of routine. Get up at 5:30, read the paper, watch a home improvement show downstairs, eat breakfast, read the Bible, go to work, take two 15 minute walks while at work, eat a bag of pretzels (the overly burnt/salty ones) for lunch in the car, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, bed by 9:30. 

I think that having a routine was comforting to him. He thrived on it. I always knew what he was doing every single day of the week. It was easy to plan around.

I've found myself in the same mindset the past few years - now, not to this extreme. We're talking about my Dad who had the same routine for 30+ years. And we're also talking about the guy whose wardrobe hadn't changed since college - no joke - more fun stories about that later though.

But after having a really rough past six years, I've definitely picked up on some of the habits.

I suppose I find that whenever a life changing event happens to me: having my Mom pass away, getting married, having my Dad pass away, getting a teaching job, having Dean, being a stay at home mom, I always resort to some sort of new routine. An idea that I have control over things in my life. Now, having control in my life - that's a whole other blog post.

The point being, I have a difficult time with change, so I need to find a way for myself to handle it. And that always seems to come in the form of setting up a stable, go-to routine.

The past three weeks I have been routine-less. Dean and I still go to the grocery store on Monday, but that's about it. Last week I spread out the laundry throughout the week - I'm typically a "get it all done in one day" type of a girl - and didn't even get to some loads.

I felt so off.

So today I decided that I need to get my act together.

I made Dean a doctor appointment for his 18 month checkup (he was sick when we were supposed to go before moving), called for a hair cut for him which he needs desperately, and am going to get him enrolled in gym class again.

It may sound stupid and petty to many, but just knowing that I have things to accomplish for the week makes me feel good and calm. It's something for me to look forward to.

Because being in a different state, 8 hours away from all of your friends and family, is hard. Ryan has been working long hours and when he gets home he goes to bed early because he's so tired. So I'm typically left to my own devices.

I need something. This routine will only last until August until baby Morrow #2 graces us with his/HER (clearly my guess) presence, but I'll take it!

So here's to getting my act together and being productive once again. Perhaps that means I should go shower...too much information? Nah. Ryan always busts me every time I shower 5 seconds before he comes home. I always say, better late than never, right?! And clearly watching Downton Abbey during nap time takes priority over showering.

-Beth