At the end of March, Ryan and I decided that we should probably take a trip down south to the place that we were going to be calling home for the next few years. So we packed up our car with way too many clothes - guilty -, baby items, and snacks, and set out for the eight hour drive.
I was excited to get away for a long weekend and to spend some uninterrupted time with Ryan and Dean, but I was also a bit anxious. If you are to look up what a "home body" is, my picture would be plastered right next to the term. I like knowing what is going to happen, I like knowing where I am, and when I don't, I tend to get a bit anxious. So, never having been to North Carolina was exciting yet nerve wracking. .
As we were making our way across Ohio and were coming close to entering West Virginia the excitement suddenly halted. We were minding our own business at a beautiful rest area (when you have a baby, you stop OFTEN), when I got a phone call.
It was my boss.
I suppose I should stop and discuss the back story as to why this phone call was the beginning of my emotional spiral on this trip.
Last year I took a year leave of absence from my job when I had Dean. The first day of school would have been the first day back from my six week maternity leave, and I could not fathom attempting to get a classroom ready weeks before that with a three week old baby. No thanks. So, with the encouragement of Ryan, I made the decision to take the year off to be a Mommy. I knew going into my year leave that I had until April 1st to decide whether or not I would be coming back for the following school year. April 1 is "doomsday," as I had experienced the previous three years - but that's a different story.
So, my boss was calling me to see "where my head was" about the following school year. Was I coming back? Was I going to resign? I had been incredibly quiet about whether or not I would be returning to work and had only discussed it with a select few people, and none of those being my boss. Therefore, he had no idea what I was thinking.
The second that I saw the phone number pop up on my phone I instantly began to panic. I wasn't ready. I knew what I was going to do, but I wasn't ready. We were literally on our way out of the state to go visit our new home. This was NOT the time for me to be resigning from my career. I technically had another week to make my decision. I wanted that time.
My boss and I exchanged pleasantries and then, he cut to the chase. I looked at Ryan and with panicked eyes, I mouthed to him, "Do I just tell him?" Ryan nodded.
I resigned.
I told him that we were going to be relocating for my husband's job and that I would not be returning for the following school year. He was incredibly understanding and wished me well. He also told me that when we move back to call him. I took this as a great sign and something to look forward to.
I knew that resigning from my job was a step that I had to take, but what I didn't realize was how upset and emotional it would make me. Being a teacher is what I have always wanted to do with my life, and teaching at Mason has always been my dream job. I was lucky enough to get hired on as a 5th grade language arts/social studies teacher 13 days before school started in 2010 and loved every second of it. I have made amazing friends and even taught with my 5th grade teacher.
Leaving my dream job was heartbreaking. I know that moving to North Carolina for a few years is what is best for our family, but it is never easy to give up something that you love so much. I suppose once I resigned everything became incredibly real. We really are moving. I am unemployed. I was completely overwhelmed with emotion and began to swim in my thoughts.
But then I realized, I may have just quit my job, but now I have the amazing opportunity to be a stay at home mom to Dean. I'm blessed enough to spend my days with him and we get the opportunity to see a new part of the country and explore a new city!
Sometimes it takes a while for me to see the "glass half full," but I always know it is there.
Here's to quitting my dream job only to realize that I now am living my dream job - being Mom.
xoxo,
Beth
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